That’s not my Seddon railway station… the building is too wooden.

And that’s not my Spotswood railway station… there isn’t a station there at all!

So were are they?

Melbourne’s Box Hill railway station has three platforms located beneath a shopping centre in the eastern suburbs.

While New Zealand’s Box Hill station is a single platform on the Johnsonville Branch in Wellington, and run by a different Metlink to the Metlink in Melbourne.

Melbourne’s Seddon railway station in the inner west has two platforms and a brick station building.

New Zealand’s Seddon is a closed station in a small town beside the Main North Line in the Marlborough region of the South Island.

And Spotswood – Melbourne has a nice 1920s suburban station.

While New Zealand’s Spotswood is a tiny little locality in the Hurunui District, about 120 km north of Christchurch.

Further reading

The ‘That’s Not My…’ book series at Wikipedia.

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You can catch the bus to places of natural beauty.

National Park Entrance/National Park Rd (Loch Sport)
Eastern Sister Lookout/Point Nepean Rd (Sorrento)

Or beyond the black stump.

Black Stump General Store/Princes Hwy (Johnsonville)

Toilet humour is always good for a laugh – and gives me three funny bus stop names.

Tooleybuc Toilets/Murray St (Tooleybuc (NSW))
Public toilets/Timboon – Nullawarre Rd (Timboon)
Car Park Rear Toilet Block/Lloyd St (Dimboola)

When you flush, it might end up here:

South East Water Oxygen Plant/Baxter-Tooradin Rd (Baxter)

But to clean up, you could leave the bus at any of these stops:

Laundry Block/Barwon Heads – Ocean Grove Rd (Ocean Grove)
Ironing Service/Deakin Ave (Mildura)
D And K Cleaning/School Rd (Springhurst)
Wizard Car Wash/Princes Hwy (Narre Warren)

Since you are on the bus, you don’t need to park a car.

Council Car Park/Beveridge St (Swan Hill)
Beachside Car Park/Nepean Hwy (Frankston)

Freeway on and off ramps aren’t something you are looking out for:

Eastern Freeway On Ramp/Wetherby Rd (Doncaster East)
Off-ramp/Princes Fwy (Darnum)

Or repairing roads.

VicRoads Depot/Ballarat Rd (Deer Park)
Nillumbik Shire Depot/290 Yan Yean Rd (Plenty)

You don’t need to buy petrol either.

Service Station/Breadalbane Ave (Mernda)

None the less, you still have your choice of fuel retailer.

Caltex Service Station/Calvert St (Bairnsdale)
BP Service Station/Sunraysia Hwy (Speed)
Shell Service Station/Princes Hwy (Narre Warren)
Mobil Service Station/Fifteenth St (Mildura)
United Service Station/Princes Hwy (Cobargo (NSW))
Apco Petrol Station/Gisborne Rd (Bacchus Marsh)

Maybe you are looking to build a car from scratch?

Toyota Australia/Grieve Pde (Altona North)
Holden Engine Works/Lorimer St (Port Melbourne)
Ford Engine and Chassis Plant/Princes Hwy (North Geelong)

Or something more high tech?

Centre for Nanofabrication/Wellington Rd (Clayton)

Perhaps you are peckish?

Kraft Factory/Salmon St (Port Melbourne)

You could pick up the raw ingredients for dinner.

Geelong Sale Yards/Weddell Rd (North Geelong)
Grain Silo/Wimmera Hwy (Marnoo)

Cargo to send by rail?

Pacific National Terminal/Dynon Rd (West Melbourne)

And finally, the really weird.

Bridal Advisory Service/Jamieson St (East Albury (NSW))

Some bad names

There are a few bus stop names with ‘opposite’ in the title, and refer to a local landmark – for example:

Opp Ballarat Health Service/Edwards St (Sebastopol)

But some are just lazy – streets have numbers down both sides!

opp 399 Centre Rd (Narre Warren South)
Opp 28 Ash Cres (Pakenham)
Opp 184 Old Geelong Rd (Hoppers Crossing)
Opp 85 Melville Park Dr (Berwick)

And just plain broken

Look at this mess.

Carrington Bvd/VictoReturns to Thomastown via Main Street (express service).ria Dr (Thomastown)

It’s supposed to read “Carrington Bvd / Victoria Dr, Thomastown”.

Footnote

For a number of years at both Metlink and Public Transport Victoria, the usage of the ‘SC’ abbreviation in bus stop names was inconsistent: sometimes it meant ‘Shopping Centre’ and other times ‘Secondary College’, which led to confusion for any passenger in a suburb where the local shops had the same name as the school!

Thankfully some of the staff at PTV didn’t think confusing passengers was a good idea, so put in place a new standard for names – ‘SC’ for ‘Shopping Centre’ and ‘Sec Col’ for ‘Secondary College’.

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